That I learned nothing was good enough. I took on the job of making myself wrong as I grew up and took the blame – for everything – including my toxic relationship.

I didn’t ask myself “Why did he treat us this way?” or “What’s wrong with him?”

No, I asked myself “How did I allow this to happen?”

This was a nearly continuous way of pointing out to myself that something was wrong with me – near constant shaming and blaming. I was punishing myself.

I believed there was no way out of that loop – believe me, I tried EVERYTHING.

After 8+ years of searching for the solution, for the holy grail that would allow ME to control my thoughts and my destiny, rather than my ex, I stumbled on a process to break the rumination cycle. I say stumble, because I didn’t find it in a book, a class, a video, or a therapist’s office. No. I eventually became so desperate to MAKE IT STOP that the process was revealed.

Once I broke that toxic cycle, I asked better questions…questions with answers – questions that moved me forward. I took back control.

I could have continued in my thriving medical career – I LOVED my patients. That certainly would have been an easier path. But something ignited inside me. (I call it my Why.) 

My Why is to help narcissistic abuse survivors like you to leverage your history to achieve your dreams, to use it as a springboard, because that’s how we change the world.